Hey Legend,
I wasn’t expecting to get pulled over by the police right outside my gym…
Especially not on Whacky Wednesday, where wild socks are the only thing we normally get pulled up for.
But this is what went down.
I was driving through the Adelaide CBD. I moved into the left lane in preparation for the left turnoff to get to my gym.
As I approached the turn off, I noticed a police car following behind me.
I turned the corner, the flashing lights came on – right outside my gym.
Feeling a tad annoyed (I was running late), I hopped out the car and asked the police officer,
“Were you stopping me?”
The left lane I was driving in is a bus lane from 7am to 7pm Monday to Friday. So you’re only supposed to go in there right before you need to turn left. But I’d hopped in the lane a few streets back.
The police officer said I’d been driving in the left lane for too long. And the police were cracking down on cars driving in the bus lanes.
Fair call.
I understand that. Don’t want to upset the bus drivers (they can be quite precious about their lanes).
I figured he’d be a good bloke and let me off with a warning.
But nope…
$400+ fine is coming my way!
Not the Whacky Wednesday I was hoping for.
Thankfully my usual gym coach wasn’t there that day. He would have given me HEAPS of sh*t for getting pulled over out the front of the gym (he calls me the ‘Dirty Dawg’ – but that’s a story for another day).
It was (another) expensive lesson to learn.
When I got home from the gym, I broke the bad news to Kaci.
“I’ve got some bad news… the cops pulled me over on the way to the gym. And I got a $400 fine.”
She wasn’t happy (which is understandable).
Wasting money on fines sucks.
The next day, I unpacked the whole thing on a podcast interview with Caleb Lesa – a Sales Trainer and Human Behaviour Expert.
I told him about the fine… and how I broke the news to Kaci.
He gave me a simple (but powerful) framework for communicating tough news – and I wish I’d used it earlier.
Here’s what he suggested (using the ‘Neuro-linguistic Priming’ he teaches):
Step 1: Ask Permission
“Hey Kaci, is it ok if I talk to you about something?”
Step 2: Soften the Impact
“I’ve got some potentially bad and frustrating news.”
Step 3: Show Vulnerability
“This is a massive pain in the ass. And I’m freaking gutted this happened. But the cops pulled me over on the way to the gym and gave me a $400 fine.”
What this does is:
- You’re asking permission to have the conversation
- Using the word ‘potentially’ softens the impact
- Calling out the potential negative emotions allows your partner to feel their emotions without feeling judged
If you want to hear the full conversation on how to navigate tricky conversations in your relationship – then
click this link to check it out.
