Have you ever experienced a period where your circumstances started to change?

 

 

Only to find yourself self-sabotaging your newfound success? 

 

Just when things feel like they couldn’t get better and you’re on top of the world, something triggers you and you slip back into destructive self-sabotage patterns.

 

You feel frustrated.

 

Consciously, you want your circumstances to be at this new level. 

 

But unconsciously, you don’t believe you deserve it…

 

 

Let me paint a picture for you.

 

Imagine a boat floating on top of the ocean.

 

The boat represents your circumstances:

 

 

The ocean represents your current identity:

 

 

As the ocean level rises, your circumstances increase:

 

.

As the ocean level falls, your circumstances decrease:

 

 

 

Now imagine this.

 

A big wave comes which causes your boat to rise high in the ocean. 

 

While you’re at the top of the wave your circumstances have dramatically increased. But it’s a false increase. Your circumstances haven’t increased because your identity has increased. Your circumstances have increased because of external factors.

 

For a moment you feel on top of the world while you’re riding this big wave that represents your new found material success.

 

But then you notice anxiety start to creep in…

 

The wave comes crashing down bringing the boat (your new circumstances) with it.

 

And you’re back to the ocean level (your current identity).

 

 

While your boat (your circumstances) was riding the top of the wave, a gap was created between the bottom of the boat and the ocean level (your current identity).

 

You didn’t believe you deserved your new found circumstances on top of the wave.

 

So you unconsciously self-sabotaged yourself to get back down to the ocean level.

 

Back to equilibrium. 

 

Back to where your mind felt your circumstances matched your current identity. 

 

 

Whether you believe in God or not, you were created in the image of God.

 

(If the word God puts you off, replace it with ‘the Universe’, ‘infinite intelligence’ or whatever spiritual terminology you align with) 

 

You come into this world as a blank canvas.

You are a bundle of light and love.

You are pure.

 

And then as you get older you are influenced by your environment and the people around you. You collect beliefs that form and shape your identity – and ultimately these beliefs form the circumstances of your life.

 

This is Nature (God) vs Nurture (Environment)

 

To uncover your current identity you must hunt down the origin of your current beliefs and put them under the microscope.

 

Is this belief the TRUTH?

 

Or is this belief a LIE?

 

 

Have you ever noticed how you behave differently around different people and different groups?

 

You most likely ‘occur’ differently to your friends, work colleagues and other groups you’re associated with.

 

 

This exercise will give you valuable insights into your current identity and the beliefs that are holding you back from the circumstances you want.

 

On a piece of paper or Google Doc, write down these statements: 

 

I think ‘my partner’ thinks I am…

I think my ‘work colleagues’ think I am…

I think my ‘clients’ think I am…

I think my ‘parents’ think I am…

I think my ‘teammates’ think I am…

I think my ‘prospects’ think I am…

I think my ‘gym mates’ think I am…

 

(Do this for any significant groups/people that you’re associated with)

 

Underneath each category, finish those “I am” statements with as many examples as you can.

 

E.g. “I think my partner thinks I am lazy”

 

E.g. “I think my work colleagues think I am a nice guy”

 

E.g. “I think my teammates think I am reliable”

 

This exercise will reveal valuable insights into your current identity and the limiting beliefs you have.

 

You will most likely have a lot of positive belief statements written down, but you will also have plenty of negative statements too. 

 

And these negative statements will reveal the limiting beliefs holding you back.

 

Once you’ve finished writing down as many “I am” statements as you can – next to each one write down ‘TRUTH’ or ‘LIE’.

 

Is this true? Or is this a lie? 

 

Now remember, you were created in the image of God (nature). All these negative beliefs you write down are not his making. 

 

These were the lies you collected from your environment (nurture). 

 

Once you’ve uncovered the lies you’ve collected, it’s time to replace them with truths.

 

For example, if you wrote down: 

 

 

The truth could be written as, 

 

 

This exercise is only scratching the surface of what it takes to unpack your current identity and the self-sabotage behaviour that is holding you back from the circumstances you want.

 

But I guarantee this will be a valuable exercise and will reveal so much to you.

 

Are you willing to improve yourself to improve your circumstances?

 

Reply to this newsletter and let me know what you discover. 

Have a great weekend,